How To Shave For Dummies

This is for all of you young guys who are about tominute. I've tried to contact razor manufacturers with
embark on the lifelong drudgery of shaving. It's also forthis idea, but they would not respond to my letters.
you, who like me, have been shaving for 60 years,Possibly because of some legal problems or they may
AND for all of you in between.already have this "Breakthrough" on the drawing board,
Now you might say shaving is pretty much straightbut don't want to release it until they get the most
forward. Well it is, but there are many ways to"mileage' out of the existing marketing ploy. When that
accomplish that simple task. I don't intend to explore allhappens, they will release this "new" concept to the
the different ways to shave, but I will concentrate ongullible shaving public, which means you and me.
the one optimum way. THE ONE WAY that will giveBefore I go into that, let's get into basics. It's common
you the best and smoothest shave you ever had, (andknowledge that a warm moist beard is easier to
save you money in the process).shave than a dry one.
This method applies no matter which brand of shavingWhat I do, and it may sound a bit archaic, I lean over
equipment you are using, whether it be Gillette, Schick,the sink, cup my hands and collect water, as hot as I
or any of the other brand names out there.can stand, from the tap and bring it up to my face,
BRIEF HISTORY of SHAVERSsubmerging my face in my cupped hands with the hot
I'll begin with a little history on the evolution of thewater. I do this several times. A hot wash rag on your
shaving blade as we use it today. The first relativelyface for a minute or two will do the same thing, but it is
modern development was the straight razor. Howevertoo time consuming for me.
its use required a great deal of care (to avoid slittingAfter the hot water treatment, I pump some liquid soap
your throat) and skill.into my hands, work up a lather, and work it into my
The development of the double edged safety razorbeard as if to wash my face. Next I apply shaving
held within a device with a handle that accepted thecream (the brand doesn't matter) to my face on top
razor and held it securely in place was a good start.of the previously applied soap and water.
That device exposed only the cutting edge of theNow comes my big "secret". Instead of the usual
blade making difficult to cut yourself. The "safetymethod of shaving with the razor, which is pulling the
razor" was born!shaving head down over my beard, with the handle
This development made the straight razor virtuallypointing down in the direction of travel, I hold the handle
obsolete for the average person. Only a few diehardsat an angle with the vertical so that the shaving head
clung to the use of a straight razor.produces a slicing action instead of a chopping action.
Now come incremental improvements. The first bladesThis method will give you a smoother shave, and your
were made of ordinary carbon steel. Then cameblade will stay sharp longer. As a fringe benefit you will
some advancements in the manufacture of thebe saving money by having to replace blades less
carbon steel. Next came the stainless steel bladefrequently. Let's examine why the slicing action is
which greatly extended the life of the blade. Then wesuperior to the chopping action.
were introduced to the titanium blade which wasIn the middle ages, mainly in France, but in the rest of
touted as the ultimate in shaving. Each of theseEurope, prisoners were being executed by
improvements promised a "cleaner and smoother"decapitation which became the accepted method of
shave. Of course all of these improvements cameexecution. The executioner, armed with a sword or
with price increases.axe would perform the task.
We're not finished yet. As you know, we saw theSometimes the executioner's aim was not true and it
development of the disposable blade with one cuttingwould take several attempts to do the job. Moreover,
edge. Then we got two blades in the disposable head.the cutting edge of the sword, or axe if it was used,
The second blade mounted in the head was supposedbecame dull rapidly which did not promote a swift
to cut the whisker that the first blade pulled up. Yeah,execution. The rate of executions became so great
the whisker just hung out waiting for the second bladethat it became clear (and necessary) that a device
to come along and lop it off. This was supposed tohad to be constructed that would do the job more
eliminate going over that same area twice. I go overefficiently and effectively.
the same area again despite that claim. And I do goA device was developed and it took the name of a
against the grain contrary to the advice that this is notFrenchman, Dr. Joseph I. Guillotin. An "e" was added to
necessary. Furthermore, why didn't the first blade cuthis name and the guillotine was established as the
off the whisker?means of execution. The guillotine first incorporated a
Then we were exposed to a three bladed shaver thatstraight blade which was released from a height,
was the "ultimate". Now that third blade is going to cutguided by tracks and came down on the victim's neck,
off the whisker that survived the first and secondthus severing the head.
blades. Were the first two blades not sharp enough?This proved to be an effective method of execution
Then we graduated to the four bladed head, andexcept that with prolonged use, the blade became dull
finally??, the five bladed head..very quickly. Experiments were made with a rounded
Along with all these new developments came the hardblade, but that was abandoned in favor a blade
sell or "Hype" to make you think that this latestinstalled at a 45 degree angle. This was designed to
development is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Ifslice through the victim's neck instead of chopping
you say something often enough and long enough, itthrough. The blade, so constructed, stayed sharper and
then becomes believable, and finally becomes fact.stayed longer and the 45 degree angle blade was
They even gave these innovations catchy namesadopted as the standard.
such as, Tracer, Mach 1, Mach 2, Mach 3, and Fusion.I offer this information to illustrate that slicing through an
What are we doing, flying an airplane, or building anobject (a neck or whisker) with a blade at an angle is
atomic reactor? Heck no!! We're shaving for crying outpreferable to chopping or hacking through. This is not
loud.rocket science.
I'll tell you what the next big "Breakthrough" will be in a